A Testament to Brotherhood (Continued)

People often claim that fraternity brothers are closer to each other than sorority sisters. While this statement may be subject to interpretation, there is a ton of evidence that can be presented in favor fraternities.

I've already made my case for the strength of Greek life as a whole, but its the enigma of fraternities that has captivated my interest this week. While girls naturally tend to socialize and cluster in groups, men are often expected to be independent and self-reliant. Masculinity is often defined by patriarchal, aggressive, and macho tendencies, yet fraternities, the very embodiment of traditional masculine roles, cultivate loyalty, selflessness, and supportive attitudes. Where and why did this paradigm originate?

I read a quote from "Inside Greek U" on a fraternity brother who described his experience in brotherhood as "...so much more. Friends don't have a commitment to each other; brothers do. I will be there for them, all of them, even brothers that I don't spend a lot of time with or even like that much. Friends don't think like that."

It's true. Fraternity brothers will support each other to no avail.

The strength of brotherhood, I believe, can be attributed to three concepts embodied by the fraternal system: (1) The family metaphor, (2) the importance of dependence, and (3) the pledging program.

The Marlboro man, stoic and independent

First and foremost, the idea of a family setting for Greek life allows males to take on more domestic, nurturing roles. As a pledge you are given a big brother who functions just like a traditional older sibling, giving advice and providing a shoulder to lean on when times get rough. As an active you are paired with little brothers; they take on roles that force them to be caring and compassionate instead of stoic and emotionless. As you progress through the Greek system, you acquire an entire family, a unit that supports you and one that you must support in return.

This brings us to the idea of interdependence. While its socially acceptable for women to express the need to be near their girlfriends, it is less acceptable for males to seek solace in others. Males are expected to be self-reliant; they are expected to be able to find their own way and pave their own paths from childhood to adulthood. The Greek system, however, provides a socially acceptable avenue for men to become interdependent. Fraternity men are allowed to open up to one another and share their qualms and experiences. As brothers let their guards down and become more comfortable, they develop a unique relationship with one another unlike any other same-sex relationship they would have ever experienced. The fraternity listserv serves just as it would in a sorority, giving members a safe space to gossip with one another and ultimately develop deep, emotional connections with the rest of the house members.

Most importantly, the idea of a pledging process unites all members of a class in a shared experience that nobody else could ever imagine. The same could be said for a sorority pledge-ship, however, hazing has, for the most part, been eliminated from the sorority program in recent years. Many pledge events encourage "self-disclosure and communicative vulnerability" that bind pledges closer to one another. In males this is especially important because it opens up an aspect of communication that was not previously available/acceptable for them. The pledging process, grueling and outrageous as it may be, forces unlikely people to band together against a common threat. For the rest of their lives, brothers will have a set of common memories to reflect back on, a time when they were united and shared an unparalleled and unforgettable closeness to one another.

Overall the fraternity system is able to provide men with the experiences and emotional connections that traditional masculine male roles lack. Every human being needs a certain amount of interdependence and emotional connection, yet most men will go through life learning to stifle this need. The traditionally feminine attributes of loyalty, selflessness, and support are repackaged and embedded into the fraternity system, a system traditionally typified as the embodiment of male masculinity.

This is why the fraternity system is so strong.

A Testament to Brotherhood and Sisterhood.

When people ask me why I joined a sorority, I tell them I joined for the sisterhood. As an incoming freshman, I wanted to find a group of girls I could trust, sisters that would stick by me through thick and thin.  

Greek life has been able to provide me with my home away from home. Though it isn’t always apparent, I truly believe that Greeks are able to form a bond that runs stronger and deeper than ordinary friendships.

This week I had to collect survey data for a research paper I am working on. Judging by the amount of survey spam that inundates my email and Facebook account, I did not expect survey data collection to come easy. To my surprise, within an hour of launching my survey I was able to get 50 immediate responses. 99% of these responses were from my Greek-affiliated friends.

Curious as to whether or not my other non-Greek friends would reciprocate the favor, I then proceeded to conduct a little experiment of my own, mass emailing a few of my classes to see if they would respond as quickly to my survey request. Within the hour, I had only 2 responses. No surprise considering these people hardly knew me. A double check of the survey stats that showed very few of my high school friends were willing to complete my survey.

My mini-experiment is only a microcosmic example of the extent to which brotherhood and sisterhood is valued within the Greek system. The Greek community is simply bonded to each other in ways that normal friends just are not.  The rituals and culture that are embedded in Greek life—pledging, families, houses—all contribute to the creation of a lasting connection that will continue past college.

In 2003, Lakoff and Johnson discovered than metaphors create and frame social reality. In this sense, being initiated into a fraternity or a sorority is like joining a family. You have big brothers, big sisters, little brothers, little sisters, pledge parents, and even grandparents. By framing the context of Greek life within a family metaphor, members develop a loyalty to each other that goes beyond surface level acquaintances. Just like the saying “blood runs thicker than water”, when push comes to shove, fraternity brothers will put their grievances aside and defend one another.

What makes the Greek system so strong and durable? Why is brotherhood or sisterhood so different from same-sex friendships? Answers to follow in next week’s post! 

Famous Greeks!

Babe Ruth, Frank Sinatra, Donald Trump, Brad Pitt, Elvis Presley, Martin Luther King, Jr.; Condoleezza Rice, Rosa Parks, Katie Couric, Kate Spade, Carrie Underwood.

Katie Couric, ΔΔΔ 

Carrie Underwood, ΣΣΣ 

What do all of these names have in common? Other than the fact that these men and women have each made a name for themselves in their respective fields, they have all pledged for Greek-lettered organizations.

76% of the U.S. senators, 71% of the men listed in Who’s Who in America, 85% of the Fortune 500 executives, 120 of the Forbes’ 500 CEOs, and 85% of the U.S. Supreme Court justices since 1910—all members of fraternities and sororities. If you think Greeks have a large presence in college, I think it suffices to say they also continue to dominate the real world outside of university.

Condoleezza Rice, AXΩ

I don’t know why, but when I first heard these statistics I was a little more than surprised. Maybe it’s because the Greek life stereotypes of partying, drinking and mayhem don’t exactly align with the ultra-poised persona of Condoleezza Rice, our national security advisor. When I think National Security Advisor I think prestige, power and control; “frat party” makes me think crazy, stupid, love.

Greeks have gained a reputation for being reckless and careless, yet somehow a large percentage of respectable men and women of today’s society have emerged from the very institution that inspired movies like Animal House, Accepted, and Revenge of the Nerds. Are Rosa Parks, MLK and Katie Couric mere exceptions to the larger Greek population that perpetuates the endless partying and booze? Or could it be that there is something about the Greek culture that evokes the leadership and confidence for Greek men and women to go on and become the forerunners of our society?

MLK, AΦA 

My opinion rests with the latter. One of the unique features of Greek life is that it places young adults into a world that, on a small scale, can be said to mimic real life. Pledging teaches new members the importance of collaboration and humility. The hierarchical system of pledges, actives, and cabinet members is much like the corporate ladder—everyone starts from the bottom and must earn their way to the top. Leadership positions within the Greek system require a large amount of responsibility and organizations; not only are chapter presidents constantly in contact with a myriad of university authorities, but they also must garner the patience to sit through the politics and dramatics that are inevitable within a group full of guys or girls.

Once initiated into the system, Greek members are bonded for life. This means that connections made in college will carry weight in the workforce; fellow members will undoubtedly preference their qualified “brothers” or “sisters” over a random applicant. Greek life builds a network of connections and support that continues well beyond college.

Fraternity and sorority culture has the ability to produce many determined, goal-oriented individuals, as evident in the numbers of influential Greeks that already exist. The traditions of the Greek system can definitely be geared toward shaping individuals into strong leaders of our society, but too often we focus our attention on the backdrop of booze and partying that can be attributed to any number of college-age students.

(Other notable men and women in the Greek system, if you’re curious.)

What About the Sororities?

The information that can be found on fraternities is astounding. There are numerous research studies and articles devoted to analyzing the actions of male Greeks; everything from the correlation between fraternities and alcohol consumption to the identity paradox of gay men in the Greek system has been explored extensively. Perhaps this is why I have spent the last couple of weeks posting primarily about such fraternities.

Discussing fraternal issues, however, only speaks for half of the Greek system. In order to fully understand the culture of Greek life we must include sororities, an equally puzzling enigma in their own right.  

Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

Sororities have gained the general stereotype for being superficial, catty clones. It doesn’t help that movies like The House Bunny, Legally Blonde, and Sydney White perpetuate the ideal that sorority women should look like Barbie dolls and gossip with one another 24/7.

I must admit I initially fell victim to the idea that sororities were purely about partying and drinking. When I rushed for my sorority, I definitely wasn’t joining because of the academic achievements and the number of philanthropy hours that the house boasted about. While my opinions of sororities have drastically changed with my involvement in a Greek-affiliated organization, sorority stereotypes have largely remained the same from an outsider’s perspective.

Kappa Phi Nu Sorority, Sydney White

For those of you who may still be skeptical on the benefits of the Greek system, here are a couple reasons why you may want to reconsider. The college section of USA Today has a blog devoted to Greek life, and has recently posted a string of articles related to sorority stereotypes.  

In “The Odyssey: What it truly means to be Greek”, Claire File of Chi Omega at Purdue University gives an intimate account of her experiences with the Greek system. At the beginning she notes that she had been having doubts about joining a sorority, until the tipping point when her mother passed away unexpectedly. In a raw, heartfelt essay, she describes how the Greeks at her school were able to come together to support her. People from different pledge classes, different houses, were able to set aside their trivial differences to offer their sympathy, sending dozens of bouquets and flowers to the funeral home. 

Claire goes on to describe how she was brought to tears by the fact that her entire pledge class made it down to her mother’s funeral. This really struck a chord with me. If, heaven forbid, my parents ever passed away, I know each and every one of my pledge sisters would be there to support me. Even if this happens 20 years down the line, I am confident that I am part of a sisterhood that will stand the test of time. 

“Sure, people may argue that we ‘pay for our friends,’ but if I simply ‘paid’ for a group of superficial friends, then no one would have showed up for my mother’s funeral.” 

I cannot agree more. The culture of partying and drinking is going to be present whether or not Greeks are involved, because that’s what happens when you put 18-24 year olds in an environment without adult supervision. However what sets Greeks apart from the college norm is the fact that we have fostered a strong and lasting bond with each other.