Why do men and women use separate bathrooms? Why do we have “girls night out”, or boys only nights? Despite the obvious anatomical differences, are men and women really all that different?
Last week, I began reading a book titled “Inside Greek U” by Alan D. DeSantis which “explores the role played by fraternities and sororities in shaping the gender identities of its members.” If you’ve read my posts before, you know that this is the book I stumbled across while searching for my bookmarking soulmate; the treasure I picked up at Doheny Library as soon as I got the chance.
DeSantis opens his introductory chapter with a clear-cut goal in mind. He states “I want to critically and sympathetically examine the way these students [Greeks] are having their potential limited by a rigid gender classification system that insists that “real men” must be tough, unemotional, promiscuous, and violent and “nice girls” nurturing, passive, nonconfrontatational, and domestic.”
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| David Beckham, a "Real Man" |
That got me thinking. Did the culture of fraternity and sorority life really reinforce gender stereotypes of traditional masculinity and femininity? What does being a “real man” or a “nice girl” even mean?
A real man is masculine, someone who stands up for what he believes in and commands attention when he walks into a room. Somebody like David Beckham. A nice girl is feminine, even-tempered and polite; Amanda Seyfried-like.
DeSantis says the words masculine and feminine are each composed of a set of 5 innate characteristics:
MASCULINE
1. Heterosexual Promiscuity
2. Toughness and Assertiveness
3. Imposing Physical Type
4. Relational Independence
5. Professional Orientation
FEMININE
1. Monogamy and Virginity
2. Nurturing and Caring
3. Petite Physical Type
4. Relational Interdependence
5. Domestic Orientation
As arcane as these definitions may be, I have no doubt that the traditions of Greek life have reinforced these gender roles of masculinity and femininity.
Take a traditional frat party, for example.
The lights are off, the music is loud and the house is filled with a constant flux of people. Sorority girls are dancing with each other in scattered clusters all around the dance floor (exhibiting relational interdependence), while frat guys stand solo as they scan the room for cute girls. Much like a predator hunting for prey, the fraternity boy immediately starts heading in the direction of the lucky woman that catches his eye. For the most part, these are the girls who are thin as a chopstick with features as dainty as flower.
Approaching from behind, and often not even asking for her permission, he wraps his arms around her waist and begins to sway his hips to the rhythm of hers. The guy and the girl continue to dance and become more involved as the night wears on. Wanting to take it another step further, the guy leads the girl into his room down the back hallway of the fraternity house. The girl, no doubt a lightweight drinker, is already too inebriated to care what is going on, and the two proceed to have sex.
The next morning, the girl walks out of the fraternity house doing the “walk of shame”, while the guy is congratulated for his conquest. For the next couple of days as word spreads, the frat guy is able to gain a better reputation, while the sorority girl earns the title of a “slut”.
A sorority girl should be classy and respectable. They are expected to be pretty and put-together, the elusive ladies that men want but can never have. Fraternity men on the other hand, are allowed to be carnal; they are allowed to be aggressive, engaging in many intramural and brotherhood athletics. But who says that women absolutely have to have a slight frame and a domestic nature? It’s the fact that those are the types of girls that guys chase after. The fact that there is a group of guys and a group of girls, fraternities and sororities, respectively, that are perpetuating these gender roles.
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