Pledging Sucks.

“It's Not Hazing. It's Brotherhood.”

Photo credit Joe Mulder via Facebook

That is the tagline of the blog justly titled PledgingSucks.com. Oh, the joys of being a pledge.

Judging from the title of the blog, I initially thought this was going to be a slew of very depressing posts written by a whiny pledge as he documented his journey from a rush week to initiation.

However, after reading the first couple of posts, I found that the stories on PledgingSucks.com were not only shockingly hilarious, but also thoroughly amusing. Who comes up with these ideas?! Never in a million years would I have dreamed up something as ridiculous as a puke laden slip-n-slide or hosing down pledges in 30-degree weather.

The "Pledge Master"

The blog actually is monitored by an anonymous frat guy that goes by the name of “the Pledge Master”, but the stories he posts are submitted by fraternity ex-pledges all over the world. Most of the posts were written from the perspective of the pledge master looking down upon his inferior pledges, ending most posts with a sense of tough luck and the coined phrase “It’s not hazing, it’s its brotherhood.”

The Pledge Master posts periodically in spurts of concentrated biweekly posts followed by months of absence. While posts are somewhat inconsistent, this blog has managed to gain loyal audience following, with at least a couple of comments on each of its posts, and a Facebook fan page dedicated to its name.

One of the most interesting posts I uncovered was written on February 18 titled “14 Most Brutal College Hazing Rituals”. I was taken aback by the first ritual described in the blog—Raped by a Sharpie. In graphic detail the Pledge Master described how, in 2002, a freshman was restrained and stripped naked while seven football players drew all over his butt. One of the players eventually went on to sexually assault the freshman by means of a Sharpie. Reading this post I could not even believe my eyes. Not only is this against the law, but this is cruelty in its purest form. I'm going to say this again: WHO THINKS OF THIS?! Whoever they are, these people are definitely evil geniuses. But moreover, how could anyone live with themselves if they had raped another guy via sharpie? It seems to me that retelling that story would garner awkward silences and furrowed eyebrows rather than any form street cred or ego boost...

On a lighter note, PledgingSucks.com also sheds light on fraternity stereotypes, such as “The Token Fat Pledge” posted on August 10. As the Pledge Master puts it,

“The importance of such a pledge goes beyond words…The fat pledge is the guy whom every other pledge thinks to himself (or sometimes even says out loud)… 'If he can do it, then fuck, so can I.'” 

Though I haven’t really given this particular topic much thought, looking back on all of my friends who have pledged for fraternities, I can safely reaffirm this notion that there exists a fat pledge in every class. Regardless of if its fall or spring semester, a large or small class, there is always one pledge that stands with a significantly wider base as compared to the rest of his pledge bros. And of course, the hefty pledge always provides renewed motivation for the class and the comic relief for the house. Let’s face it, the fat pledge really brings a sense of personality to the class the way no other skinny pledge ever could. I’ve seen it played out time and time again.

Overall this blog coincides with many of the topics I hope to cover over the course of my blogging. While it argues in favor of hazing to strengthen brotherhood, the Pledge Master writes almost satirically on the outlandish events that can only be explained by the culture of Greek Life. The colloquial style of writing lends itself to a more informal blog setting and creates a relatable and inviting atmosphere for readers, most of whom are college students or fraternity alumni. Since the topics of my blog will encompass many of these topics as well as more sorority oriented traditions, I hope I will be able to reach much of the same audience that PledgingSucks.com targets.